Well aware

I'm well aware she doesn't care anymore, so aware and so sure that I'm not afraid to write, she wouldn't care enough to ever search this blog again. How can she believe she can just have her single life and expect me to still be around when she eventually wants me, everyone thinks that's crazy. It is. I'm going to destroy to flaws, and my doubts and my self consciousness, and once I've done that I'll be unstoppable. I have an unbelievable set of people around me, and she will regret this, I would've given her everything, I guarantee no man would ever love her as much, ever treat her as good as I would've. Instead I will wait the time out, get over this, and eventually find someone who will appreciate that, treat another girl as a princess, offer her all my love and protection, get back to the top with her. I won't lie and pretend I don't love her, I'm besotted with her, but I won't be taken for a mug, I won't sit and waste my seasons while she enjoys some teenage fantasy of lust and promiscuity. I will move on, and I will find a missing jigsaw piece to my puzzle and build myself again. Perhaps I am wrong and she will find happiness, regardless, I can only fight for myself, I cannot change her heart. I hurt and I cry, even as I am writing, but I have been so low before that I will not allow someone to do this to me again. I will use this to motivate myself, to become the best I can be, and I will laugh in the future at this time now and wonder how it could have meant so much. She will look and she will see me at my happiest, without her, and she will see what she could've had. I love her and right now I do not see how I can get over it, but logic tell me I will. I regret ever meeting her, I would've rather not known this happiness than have known and had it torn. Now it is killing me, tearing me up and stripping me of my identity, I don't want this feeling, I hate it.