If you don't like something, change it

Probably the best piece of advice I've been given, Karlie's maxim has inspired me to reinvent myself, to completely overhaul certain aspects of my life that have held me back. This new chapter in my life is hopefully going somewhere. If the plans I've put in place come to fruition, then it should culminate in the most successful period of my life. Arguably this already is. I've more friends, more money, more qualified, and more successful with girls than ever before. There's just a few pieces of the puzzle that I've yet to find, but I've done what I can to arrange that. It's the waiting I can't stand, the waiting game is agonising. In 6 months, I should be unrecognisable. A good unrecognisable. By christmas I hope to look exactly how I've always hoped, to weigh what I've always hoped, to work where I've always hoped, and to have all the things in my life I've always hoped. I nearly did that last year and the year before. Only illness stopped me in 2013. 2014 just wasn't enough, that illness had slowed me down too much, and she was holding me back from moving on to something better. If only I'd taken My chances I had, I owed no loyalty to her. I spose hindsight is brilliant, I didn't know that back then. But I can't keep re-reading the last chapter of my life. She's not threat to me anymore, she possesses no emotional or physical hold over me anymore, and the people who could are now friends with me. The worst thing is that the kid is actually alright. I genuinely feel bad for him that he was dragged into everything. How bizarre. I won't make the same mistakes again, let's face it, I wasn't perfect, but I did try. This time, I'll make sure I don't ever make someone feel undervalued. I'd like to think I'm already doing that. In a way there's a positive to consider from not winning in 2013. I would've had her to thank for it, that would be terrible, she would've soured the memory, she already has soured many memories. I never believed I could hate anyone more than Leigh, but never has someone come so close to destroying me. It's odd to consider that the one person who should've been closest to me, who should've been an absolute banker to be on my side, is the one who would become my ultimate enemy. A lesson learned or an unfortunate mistake? I doubt I'll ever know, I'm just glad I dodged the bullet when I did. What the fuck would've happened to me had Easter not happened. Would I have gotten worse, stopped living my own life completely. When I get back to the top, the previous chapter will become irrelevant, and the memory of it will fade.