I don't even want one

Jobs are impossible to get these days, unless you're an idiot. A good CV gets you absolutely nowehere, but slap a load of trademark lines like these and jobs become readily available:
"I work well as part of a team"
"I'm skilled with my hands"
"I have no GCSE's"
"I love shelves"
Because it seems no-one wants to employ you if you have any aspirations of furthering your career because lets face it, shelves won't stack themselves. Who's skilled with their hands anyway? I'll tell you who, wankers. Wankers are skilled with their hands. And I don't even want a job, I need one, I mean who wants a job? I hate when people announce with great disappointment that their children "don't want a job". Of course they don't, we're only here for 70 odd years, no-one wants to waste 55 of those years working in some mundane, dead-end, soul destroying job. What will I do at the end of my life, sit and reminisce about the time I stacked that shelf in Sainsbury's, or the time I cleaned up that mess. If everyone's gotta do it, and it's paid on merit, sure, why not. But if it's barely enough to live on, and other's are paid more for something half as hard, nah.